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Mitch Hedberg
Quote #8
I tried to walk into Target, but I missed.[1]
More from Mitch Hedberg
Is a hippopotamus really a hippopotomus or just a really cool opotamus?
See, this CD is in stores. The only way I could get my last CD into a store was to take one in there and leave it. 'Sir, you forgot this!' …
I can't tell you what hotel I'm stayin' in, but I can say that there are two trees involved. They said, 'Let's call this hotel 'Something..…
Check this joke out: (Pointing to the back of the room as if to relay his post-show whereabouts.) If you wanna talk to me after the show I'…
Fish are always eating other fish. If fish could scream, the ocean would be loud as shit. You would not want to submerge your head, nothing…
I don't have a microwave oven but I do have a clock that occasionally cooks shit.
I got so much tartar, I don't got to dip my fishsticks in shit. (Realizing what he said) Actually that's kind of gross.
We're gonna have to sweeten some of these jokes. That's a showbiz term for 'Add sugar to'.
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