I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her.

I have good-looking kids. Thank goodness my wife cheats on me.

I joined Gambler`s Anonymous. They gave me two to one I don`t make it.

I found there was only one way to look thin. Hang out with fat people.

I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her.

He said 'I'll punch your head!' I said 'Whose?' He said 'Yours!' I said 'Mine?' He said 'Yes!' I said 'Oh?' He said 'Want a fight?' I said 'Who?' He said 'You!…

F**k off! It's enough that I have to see you shit-kickers every day, I'm not going to talk to you too. Just do your G-ddamn job and keep your mouth shut.