Stacey puts a little love in each pasta shell. But it's self-love, so it won't help you that much.

If you don't believe your salmon is wild, ask it to fetch your newspaper and see what happens.

Biblical scholars tell us that this is the same meal that Jesus ate at the last supper. But hey, I'm sure you have a good reason for ordering something else.

This dish might not turn you into a syndicated cartoonist, but whatever you're doing now probably isn't working either.

Now, Stuart, as you will discover if you have not done so already, believes that the principal raison d'etre of food is to conceal from public view the hideous…

God this stuff isn't getting to me - the shootings, the knifings, the beatings. Old ladies being bashed in the head for their social security checks. Nah that …

I order the club sandwich all the time, but I'm not even a member, man. I don't know how I get away with it.[4]