The parent who could see his boy as he really is, would shake his head and say: 'Willie is no good; I'll sell him.'

The landlady of a boarding-house is a parallelogram - that is, an oblong angular figure, which cannot be described, but which is equal to anything.

There are two things in ordinary conversation which ordinary people dislike - information and wit.

The general idea, of course, in any first-class laundry is to see that no shirt or collar ever comes back twice.

We must destroy the myths once and for all. We must continue to speak out and most importantly every gay person must come out. As difficult as it is, you must …

'You're a disgrace to the McMahon family! Now get out of my life! I never want to see you! Ever!' (Towards Hornswoggle)

The truth comes as conqueror only because we have lost the art of receiving it as guest.