Quote #144

They say we're 98% water. We're that close to drowning...[picks up his glass of water from the stool]...I like to live on the edge...

More from Steven Wright

  1. There's a pizza place near where I live that sells only slices. In the back you can see a guy tossing a triangle in the air.
  2. This isn't all true.
  3. There's a fine line between fishing and standing on the shore looking like an idiot.
  4. Tinsel is really snake mirrors.
  5. There was a power outage at a department store yesterday. Twenty people were trapped on the escalators.
  6. Today I dialed a wrong number... The other person said, 'Hello?' and I said, 'Hello, could I speak to Joey?'... They said, 'Uh... I don't t…
  7. The severity of the itch is proportional to the reach.
  8. Today I met with a subliminal advertising executive for just a second.

All Steven Wright quotes