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Steven Wright
Quote #171
If sometimes you can't hear me, it's because I'm in parentheses.
More from Steven Wright
I was once walking through the forest alone. A tree fell right in front of me, and I didn't hear it.
You can't have everything. Where would you put it?
I used to be a narrator for bad mimes.
42.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot.
I have a microwave fireplace. I can lay down in front of the fire for the evening in 8 minutes.
99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
I bought some used paint. It was in the shape of a house.
A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
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