Quote #41

From It's a Gift, chiding a man who is trying to swindle him out of valuable property: 'You're crazy. And I'm drunk. But I'll be sober tomorrow, and you'll be crazy for the rest of your life!'

More from W. C. Fields

  1. It was a woman drove me to drink....you know I never did thank her.
  2. Last week I went to Philadelphia, but it was closed.
  3. It ain't a fit night out for man or beast. (From one of his 'short' films, followed by opening the door and having snow flung in his face.)
  4. Madam, there's no such thing as a tough child- if you parboil them first for seven hours, they always come out tender.
  5. If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it.
  6. Man: 'I have no sympathy for a man who is intoxicated all the time.' WC: 'A man who's intoxicated all the time doesn't need sympathy.'
  7. I've been barbecued, stewed, screwed, tattooed, and fried by people claiming to be my friends. The human race has gone backward, not forwar…
  8. More people are driven insane through religious hysteria than by drinking alcohol.

All W. C. Fields quotes