From It's a Gift, chiding a man who is trying to swindle him out of valuable property: 'You're crazy. And I'm drunk. But I'll be sober tomorrow, and you'll be crazy for the rest of your life!'

It was a woman drove me to drink....you know I never did thank her.

Last week I went to Philadelphia, but it was closed.

It ain't a fit night out for man or beast. (From one of his 'short' films, followed by opening the door and having snow flung in his face.)

Eddie Guerrero, you want a shot at the Great One but there's only one problem. It's you never told him whether you you were Cheech or were you Chong! Y arriba …

'There has been a good deal of comment-some of it quite outlandish-about what our postwar requirements might be in Iraq. Some of the higher end predictions we …

'It's broccoli, dear.' 'I say it's spinach, and I say the hell with it.'