It was a woman drove me to drink....you know I never did thank her.

It ain't a fit night out for man or beast. (From one of his 'short' films, followed by opening the door and having snow flung in his face.)

From It's a Gift, chiding a man who is trying to swindle him out of valuable property: 'You're crazy. And I'm drunk. But I'll be sober tomorrow, and you'll be …

If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it.

Electricity is actually made up of extremely tiny particles called electrons, that you cannot see with the naked eye unless you have been drinking.

The most dangerous drink is gin. You have to be really, really careful with that. And you also have to be 45, female and sitting on the stairs. Because gin isn…

I love scotch, scotchy scotch scotch, here it goes down, down into my belly.