Quote #50

Say anything that you like about me except that I drink water.

More from W. C. Fields

  1. Now don't say you can't swear off drinking; it's easy. I've done it a thousand times.
  2. Secretary: 'It must be hard to lose your mother-in-law.' WC: 'Yes it is, very hard. It's almost impossible.'
  3. Never mind what I told you - do what I I tell you.
  4. Man: 'I understand you buried your wife several years ago.' WC: 'Yes, I had to. She died.' (from the film Poppy)
  5. My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies
  6. Some weasel took the cork out of my lunch...
  7. My father...one of the great immorals, er, immortals, of our time.
  8. Some things are better than sex, and some are worse, but there's nothing exactly like it.

All W. C. Fields quotes