Quote #51

Secretary: 'It must be hard to lose your mother-in-law.' WC: 'Yes it is, very hard. It's almost impossible.'

More from W. C. Fields

  1. Say anything that you like about me except that I drink water.
  2. Man: 'I understand you buried your wife several years ago.' WC: 'Yes, I had to. She died.' (from the film Poppy)
  3. Now don't say you can't swear off drinking; it's easy. I've done it a thousand times.
  4. Some weasel took the cork out of my lunch...
  5. Never mind what I told you - do what I I tell you.
  6. Some things are better than sex, and some are worse, but there's nothing exactly like it.
  7. My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies
  8. Sleep- the most beautiful experience in life- except drink.

All W. C. Fields quotes