Quote #1
We did long for the pitter-patter of little feet, so we decided to buy a dog. Cheaper, and: get more feet.
More from Rita Rudner
- I love being married, I do. It's so great to find that one special person that you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Well, the old theory was 'marry a older man because they're more mature'. But the new theory is 'men don't mature - marry a young one'.
- To me, life is tough enough without having someone kick you from the inside.
- [One of my friends] was in labor for 36 hours. (I don't even want to do anything that feels good for 36 hours.)
- Envy the kangaroo. That pouch setup is extraordinary; the baby crawls out of the womb when it is about two inches long, gets into the pouch…
- I don't even know how this word came into being: 'aerobics'. I guess gym instructors got together and said, 'If we're going to charge ten d…
- Nobody is really happy with what's on their head. People with straight hair want curly, people with curly want straight, and bald people wa…
- Why are women wearing perfumes that smell like flowers to attract men? Men don't like flowers. I have a great idea for a scent that will at…