W. C. Fields Quotes on Family
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Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There's nothing like having a midget for a butler.
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All the men in my family were bearded, and most of the women.
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Charlie McCarthy: 'Say, Mr. Fields, I read in the paper where you consumed two quarts of liquor a day. What would your father think about that?' WC: 'He'd think I was a sissy.' (from a radio show)
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Christmas at my house is always at least six or seven times more pleasant than anywhere else. We start drinking early. And while everyone else is seeing only one Santa Claus, we'll be seeing six or seven.
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Madam, there's no such thing as a tough child- if you parboil them first for seven hours, they always come out tender.
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My father...one of the great immorals, er, immortals, of our time.
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Secretary: 'It must be hard to lose your mother-in-law.' WC: 'Yes it is, very hard. It's almost impossible.'