Quote #46

My father...one of the great immorals, er, immortals, of our time.

More from W. C. Fields

  1. More people are driven insane through religious hysteria than by drinking alcohol.
  2. My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies
  3. Man: 'I have no sympathy for a man who is intoxicated all the time.' WC: 'A man who's intoxicated all the time doesn't need sympathy.'
  4. Never mind what I told you - do what I I tell you.
  5. Madam, there's no such thing as a tough child- if you parboil them first for seven hours, they always come out tender.
  6. Now don't say you can't swear off drinking; it's easy. I've done it a thousand times.
  7. Last week I went to Philadelphia, but it was closed.
  8. Say anything that you like about me except that I drink water.

All W. C. Fields quotes