W. C. Fields Quotes on Irony
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Now don't say you can't swear off drinking; it's easy. I've done it a thousand times.
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The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep. (from Never Give a Sucker an Even Break, in response to a man who complained of imsomnia)
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When a man,,,,,lies cheat and steals,,,,, but hates children,,,,, there must be something good in him!