Quote #43
Madam, there's no such thing as a tough child- if you parboil them first for seven hours, they always come out tender.
Attribution disputed; shown as originally published.
More from W. C. Fields
- Last week I went to Philadelphia, but it was closed.
- Man: 'I have no sympathy for a man who is intoxicated all the time.' WC: 'A man who's intoxicated all the time doesn't need sympathy.'
- From It's a Gift, chiding a man who is trying to swindle him out of valuable property: 'You're crazy. And I'm drunk. But I'll be sober tomo…
- More people are driven insane through religious hysteria than by drinking alcohol.
- It was a woman drove me to drink....you know I never did thank her.
- My father...one of the great immorals, er, immortals, of our time.
- It ain't a fit night out for man or beast. (From one of his 'short' films, followed by opening the door and having snow flung in his face.)
- My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies