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Woody Allen
Quote #55
Don't knock masturbation - it's sex with someone I love.
More from Woody Allen
What if nothing exists and we're all in somebody's dream? Or what's worse, what if only that fat guy in the third row exists?
Life is divided into the horrible and the miserable. The horrible are the cancer patients and the terminal cases... the miserable is everyo…
The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won't get much sleep.
There's an old joke... two elderly women are at a Catskill mountain resort, and one of 'em says, 'Boy, the food at this place is really ter…
It's not that I'm afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens.
The... the other important joke, for me, is one that's usually attributed to Groucho Marx; but, I think it appears originally in Freud's 'W…
If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name in a Swiss bank.
I thought of that old joke: This guy goes to a psychiatrist and says, 'Doc, my brother's crazy, he thinks he's a chicken.' And the doctor s…
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