Quote #87

I have been a comedian for a long time, so forgive me while I plaster on a fake smile and plough through this shit one more time.

More from Bill Hicks

  1. Tell you, the worst kind of non-smokers' the kind where you're smoking and they just walk up to you : [starts coughing in the naggy-I-want-…
  2. I have a scoop for you. I stole his act. I camouflaged it with punchlines, and to really throw people off, I did it before he did.
  3. 'People who hate people - come together!' 'No!'
  4. I am a comedian and poet, so anything that doesn't get a laugh : is a poem.
  5. The only reason I don't quit smoking is because I fear that if I did, I'd become one of you.
  6. I was on the airplane coming over here. It's a non-smoking plane - get this, right? No smoking, but they allow children. Hmmm. 'Well, smoki…
  7. How much do you smoke, sir? Two packs a day, is that right? Pussy. I go through two lighters a day. That's right, two lighters! You're a he…
  8. Watching television is like taking black spray paint to your third eye.

All Bill Hicks quotes