I love to go to Washington, if only to be nearer my money.

I'm so old they've cancelled my blood type.

I grew up with six brothers. That's how I learned to dance -waiting for the bathroom.

I thought Deep Throat was a movie about a giraffe.

I'd like to kill him but the Government needs the money. ~ Bob Hope

[Gary] Hart was clearly the most attractive candidate, the only one with even a remote chance of beating Ronald Reagan, so naturally the Democrats selected: Wa…

It's tax time once again, and the hookers in Times Square - god bless 'em - they're getting into the act. For an extra $50, they'll handle your extension.