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Jack Benny
Quote #89
I'd like to kill him but the Government needs the money. ~ Bob Hope
More from Jack Benny
Everybody is afraid they won't have any money after they die, but Jack Benny discovered a way to take it with him. He had his appendix take…
When Jack Benny has a party, you not only bring your own scotch, you bring your own rocks. ~ George Burns
Jack Benny played Mendelssohn last night. Mendelssohn lost.
I liked Benny right away, he had something I enjoyed very much - a worse singing voice than mine. ~ George Burns
Bob Hope: Let's not do any jokes we didn't plan on, eh.
'When they asked Jack Benny to do something for the Actor's Orphanage - he shot both his parents and moved in.' ~ Bob Hope[3]
Jack: [pointing a pistol at Bob's trousers] I'm going to blow your brains out.
Jack and Mary and Gracie and I were going to dinner one night and Gracie asked Mary, 'Is Jack really thirty-nine?' And Mary said, 'Ridiculo…
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