Shit, every woman in here got a girlfriend they don't trust around their man. A good girlfriend too, it's like, 'Yeah, I'll go shopping with her, but I ain't gonna leave that bitch alone with my man for five minutes, no.' I remember one time, I was at a restaurant with me, my wife, and her girlfriend. And my wife gets up and goes, 'Honey, I'm going to the bathroom.' And I'm like, 'All right, honey, I'll see you when you get back.' And she goes, 'No, you coming with me!' She made me come with her to the bathroom! And she did the right thing, 'cause I'd have fucked the girl; I'da fucked her. I'd have fucked her on a damn quesadilla, I didn't give a fuck.

Is it just me, or is Jermaine Jackson the greasiest nigger you ever seen in your life? Every time Jermaine comes on, I gotta wipe the grease off the screen! Ca…

You can't be happy that fire cooks your food and be mad it burns your fingertips.

The number one reason people hate America: the number one reason is because of our religion. Americans worship money, we worship money. Separate God from schoo…

You know the only thing you can do to stop your man from cheating? The only thing you can do : is be there. Where? There! Wherever he's thinking about fucking,…

During sex, my girlfriend always wants to talk to me. Just the other night she called me from a hotel.

If you marry a man who cheats on his wife, you'll be married to a man who cheats on his wife.