Quote #18

I wouldn't give his troubles to a monkey on a rock.

More from David Letterman

  1. I need 4 hot dogs with everything, one plain.
  2. I'm not paranoid. I'm not a dope. I'm not like a lot of these... paranoid dopes.
  3. I cannot sing, dance or act; what else would I be but a talk show host?
  4. I'm not the kind of man that likes to blow his own horn, although if I could I would.
  5. Hey, uh...ya got any gum? (Norm MacDonald playing Letterman on SNL)
  6. It's cold enough to hang meat in here!
  7. Hello. I'm David Letterman and I'm not wearing any pants.
  8. New York, New York. The town so nice they named it twice.

All David Letterman quotes