Quote #11

I have good-looking kids. Thank goodness my wife cheats on me.

More from Jacob Cohen

  1. I found there was only one way to look thin. Hang out with fat people.
  2. I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her.
  3. I drink too much. Way too much. I gave a urine sample, there was an olive in it.
  4. I joined Gambler`s Anonymous. They gave me two to one I don`t make it.
  5. I could tell that my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio.
  6. I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof.
  7. During sex, my girlfriend always wants to talk to me. Just the other night she called me from a hotel.
  8. I said to the bartender 'Surprise me.' He pulled out a naked picture of my wife.

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