Larry Wall Quotes on Humor

36 quotes

  1. I dunno, I dream in Perl sometimes...

  2. It's all magic. :-)

  3. If you write something wrong enough, I'll be glad to make up a new witticism just for you.

  4. Randal can write one-liners again. Everyone is happy, and peace spreads over the whole Earth.

  5. Perhaps I'm missing the gene for making enemies. :-)

  6. It's getting harder and harder to think out loud. One of these days someone's gonna go off and kill Thomas a'Becket for me...

  7. Oh, wait, that was Randal...nevermind...

  8. P.S. I suppose I really should be nicer to people today, considering I'll be singing in Billy Graham's choir tonight... :-)

  9. Boss: You forgot to assign the result of your map! Hacker: Dang, I'm always forgetting my assignations... Boss: And what's that 'goto' doing there?!? Hacker: Er, I guess my finger slipped when I was typing 'getservbyport'... Boss: Ah well, accidents will happen. Maybe we should have picked APL.

  10. Hey, if pi == 3, and three == 0, does that make pi == 0? :-)

  11. It's easy to solve the halting problem with a shotgun. :-)

  12. I suppose you could switch grammars once you've seen 'use strict subs'. :-)

  13. Well, you know, Hubbard had a bunch of people sworn to commit suicide when he died. So of course he never officially died...

  14. Even the White House has a press agent. :-)

  15. That's a valid argument. I just don't think it's valid enough. :-)

  16. Just put in another goto, and then it'll be readable. :-)

  17. I'm reminded of the day my daughter came in, looked over my shoulder at some Perl 4 code, and said, 'What is that, swearing?

  18. Y'know, there are other possibilities if we assume that filenames are UTF-8...yikes...wait, put down that meat cleaver! Aieeee!!!

  19. I don't believe I've ever cuddled my elses.

  20. Perhaps you should compile your Perl with long doubles one of these megaseconds.

  21. The court finds everyone to be in contempt (including himself :-), and orders everyone sentenced to five years hard labor. (Working on Perl, of course.)

  22. I dunno. Perhaps you should be happy that I have a policy of refraining from grumbling about handicapped operating systems. :-)

  23. My arthritic pinkies are already starting to ache just thinking about ||||=.

  24. I think I'm happier with that. $rubyometer += 0.3 or so. :-)

  25. double value; /* or your money back! */ short changed; /* so triple your money back! */

  26. /* And you'll never guess what the dog had */ /* in its mouth... */

  27. echo 'Congratulations. You aren't running Eunice.

  28. echo 'ICK, NOTHING WORKED!!! You may have to diddle the includes.';;

  29. echo 'Your stdio isn't very std.'

  30. That means I'll have to use $ans to suppress newlines now. Life is ridiculous.

  31. You can't have filenames longer than 14 chars. You can't even think about them!

  32. signal(i, SIG_DFL); /* crunch, crunch, crunch */

  33. So... Perhaps the Perl 6 slogan should be 'All Your Paradigms Are Belong To Us'. We'll get to that.

  34. Jesse Vincent: My dog is Web 2.0. Prove me wrong. Larry: Does your dog have a long tail? Damian Conway: If you enjoyed these practices, find 245 more like this in this book. Larry: Does your dog have a long tail?

  35. Tactical? TACTICAL!?!? Hey, buddy, we went from kilotons to megatons several minutes ago. We don't need no stinkin' tactical nukes. (By the way, do you have change for 10 million people?)

  36. But we can both blame it all on Henry.

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