Quote #22

And everyone is worried about players playing baseball, you know, on steroids, and I'm like 'Really? Well here's a quick way you can tell.' Two things happen when you're on steroids: your balls shrink, and your head grows. So if you see a player step up to the plate with a Mardi Gras head and Raisinets, *makes umpire motion* YER OUT!!!

More from Robin Williams

  1. You realize God gave you a penis and a brain, and only enough blood to run one at a time.
  2. They're patting down a five year old kid 'What are you doing? You're not a priest, let go of me.'
  3. I know there's one country in the world that doesn't have some horrible weapon of mass destruction they don't have some horrible weapons la…
  4. The nice Germans, they are the Swiss or as they like to say the other white race. Now how butch is an army who has a wine opener on its kni…
  5. Michael (Jackson) is claiming racism, and I'm like 'brother, you gotta pick a race first!' What are you claiming, mistreatment of elves?
  6. Then there's the luge, for which I have only one question: What drunken, German gynecologist invented that sport? What guy said, 'You know …
  7. Canadian currency is also called the loonie. Now how can you take an economic crisis seriously? 'The loonie is down!' 'Oh how sad for you!'
  8. It was so reassuring the other day, George W. Bush talked to the stock market, and then...*makes explosion noise*. I don't know, it must be…

All Robin Williams quotes