I hope you go before me because I don't want you singing at my funeral.

All I ask is the chance to prove that money can't make me happy.

Oh, the snivelling grovelling bastard.

Money can't buy you friends, but you do get a better class of enemy.

Always remember the last words of my grandfather, who said: 'A truck!'

My grandfather died last week, and we buried him at sea. Well, I say we buried him at sea; it was actually a village in north Wales at the time.

Kerrang : What's the best way you've heard you died? Davey: A heroin overdose, here in London. That was the most real one because that made it all the way back…