16 Spike Milligan Quotes on Humor

Spike Milligan quotes on humor

3. Contraceptives should be used on every conceivable occasion.

4. Policemen are numbered in case they get lost.

5. Are you going to come along quietly, or am I going to have to use ear plugs?

7. A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.

9. I thought I'd begin by reading a poem by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why should I? He never reads any of mine.

11. How long was I in the army? Five foot eleven.

13. The only nice thing I can wish him is an early death

15. The boy stood on the burning deck, whence all but he had fled. Twit.

17. Is there anything worn under the kilt? No, it's all in perfect working order.

23. I hope you go before me because I don't want you singing at my funeral.

25. I suppose a Knighthood is out of the question then?

27. Said Prince Charles when they placed the crown on his head: I suppose this means that Mummy's dead.

28. We're Rat-Rat-Rat-Rat-Rat-Rat-Ratties!

30. The small of my back is too big

31. My ribs give me claustrophobia

32. I dont like jam, I dont want it to know where I am