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Steven Wright
Quote #69
I saw a man with a wooden leg, and a real foot.
More from Steven Wright
I saw a friend recently. He asked why I hadn't called him. I told him I can't call everyone I want because my new phone has no 5 on it. He …
I saw a sign: 'Rest Area 25 Miles'. That's pretty big. Some people must be really tired.
I saw a bank that said '24 Hour Banking', but I don't have that much time.
I saw a small bottle of cologne and asked if it was for sale. She said, 'It's free with purchase.' I asked her if anyone bought anything to…
I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving.
I spilled spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone.
I recently got a new camera. It's so advanced, you don't even need it.
I stayed up all night playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and seven people died.
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