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This is it, folks. This is the idea which has kept me virtually unknown for the past 16 years. I have watched my crowds dwindle. I am going nowhere, and nowhere quick, but, those of you who have children, I am sorry to tell you this, but they are not special. Wait! I know some of you are going: 'What, what?' Let me just clarify: I know you think they're special : ha ha ha! I'm aware of that. I'm just here to tell you that they're not! Ha ha ha ha! Sorry. Did you know that every time a guy comes, he comes two-hundred million sperm? One out of two-hundred million - that load, we're only talking about one load - connected: Gee, what are the fucking odds? Do you know what that means? I've wiped nations off of my chest with a grey gym sock. Entire civilizations have flaked and crusted in the hair around my navel! [:] I've tossed universes in my underpants while napping. Boom! A Milkyway shoots into my jockeyshorts: 'Unngh : what's for fucking breakfast?!'

Bill Hicks#103

HumorSatireFamilyPhilosophyExistentialismParenthoodSarcasm

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About this quote

What does it mean?
The speaker sarcastically dismisses the idea that children are special, using absurd hyperbole about sperm odds and cosmic feats.
In plain terms
He jokes that kids aren't unique, mocking grandiose language.
What can you take from it?
Beware of over‑inflated importance placed on any group.

Where it applies

  • talking about children
  • philosophical debates

Putting it to work

  • use satire to challenge assumptions
  • reflect on true significance

Questions to consider

  • What does it mean to be 'special'?
  • How does humor affect serious topics?

Another view

The hyperbolic style may obscure any genuine point about value.

More from Bill Hicks

  1. How much do you smoke, sir? A pack a week? Why don't you just put on a dress and swish around : I go through two lighters a day.

    Permalink to quote #102

  2. As long as one person lives in darkness, then it seems to be a responsibility to tell other people.

    Permalink to quote #104

  3. I can't watch TV longer than 5 minutes without praying for nuclear holocaust.

    Permalink to quote #101

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