9 Dave Chappelle Quotes on Media

Dave Chappelle quotes on media

13. You crazy, Joe Rogan!

60. They cancel my show and shit goes crazy.

62. Black Bush: Oil? Oil? Who said anything about oil, Bitch you cooking? (tosses the water) RUN!!

103. 'Thats that whole police brutality thing. See thats common knowledge now. There used to be a time when only minorities really knew about that. Now I'm not saying white people didn't believe us, but you were a little skeptical. Then the NewsWeek printed it and you knew it was true. 'Oh my god...Honey did you see this? Aparently, the police have been beating up Negros like hot cakes!' Really though, how could you know? I mean you should have been a little suspicious. Don't you think its a little suspicious...that every dead black person the police find has crack sprinkled on him? I mean come on. Who gets shot and then sprinkles crack on themselves?'

104. 'I be scared to call 911 for anything, even a fire. Cause they tape those phone calls and then play them on the news. Thats fucked up. a day. I mean what if I get killed? I'm dead and can't explain myself to my buddies. It be like 'Hello, emergency?' 'Help! Help mutha fucka, they comin to get me!' 'Just calm down, sir. Where are you?' 'Oh...oh I shit on myself. I can't stop crying.' They'd play that shit 30 or 40 times a day. All my buddies would be sittin at my funeral like 'You know Dave shit on himself right before he died?' 'Yeah...Saw it on the news. He died crying like a bitch.' '

105. 'Have you ever watched like a cartoon that you used to watch when you were little, as an adult? I was sittin there with my nephew. I turned it on Sesame Street. And I was like Oh good. Sesame Street. Now he'll learn how to count and spell. But now I'm watching it as an adult and I realize that Sesame Street teaches kids other things. It teaches kids how to judge people and label people, thats right. They got this one character named Oscar. They treat this guy like shit the entire show. They judge him right to his face. 'Oscar you are so mean. Isn't he kids?' 'Yeah Oscar, you're a grouch!' He's like 'Bitch I live in a fucking trash can! I'm the poorest mother fucker on Sesame Street. Nobody's helpin me.' Now you wonder why your kids grow up and step over homeless people, like 'Get it together, grouch. Get a job, grouch.' '

109. 'Terrorists don't take black hostages. Thats the truth. I have yet to see one of us on the news reading a hostage letter. Like, 'Uh...they is treatin us good. Uh we are chillin and shit. I'd like to give a shout out to Ray-Ray an Big Steve and uh, send some Newports!' '

116. 'All I gotta say about Ellion is thank god he's Cuban. Cause if he had been Hatian, you'd have never heard about his ass. If Ellion Gonzales was Ellion Mumoombo from Hati, they'd have pushed that little rubber tube back into the water. 'Sorry fella. All full.' '

119. In an interview with James Lipton: