Quote #100

Before shoes were invented, Jack was a heel. ~ Fred Allen

More from Jack Benny

  1. One night I was walking in my sleep and Mr. Benny put a vacuum cleaner in my hand. ~ Eddie Anderson (Rochestor)
  2. Jack has no more hair than an elbow. ~ Fred Allen
  3. When Moshe Dayan heard him play (the violin), he took the patch off his eye and put it over his ear. ~ Dean Martin
  4. There are two kinds of jokes - funny jokes and Jack Benny jokes. ~ Fred Allen
  5. Jack Benny really liked my book. I know because he called me up from the library and told me. ~ Bob Hope
  6. When Jack Benny plays the violin, it sounds as if the strings are back in the cat. ~ Fred Allen
  7. Last time Jack paid one hundred dollars a plate, it was to his dentist, Dr. Pincus. ~ Bob Hope
  8. He is so anemic that if he stays out at night, he has to get a transfusion so his eyes will be bloodshot in the morning. ~ Fred Allen

All Jack Benny quotes