Quote #45

The other night I woke up and my wife was saying sexy things. I looked over and she was on the phone.

More from Jacob Cohen

  1. The other night I told my kid 'Someday, you'll have children of your own.' He said 'So will you.'
  2. When I tried to kiss my date goodnight she pushed me away. I said, 'Is there someone else?' She said, 'There must be.'
  3. That's the story of my life, no respect, ya know?
  4. When I was a kid, I asked my Mother for a Bubble Bath, so she brought the water to a boil!
  5. My wife was afraid of the dark. Then she saw me naked and now she's afraid of the light.
  6. When my wife has sex with me there's always a reason. The other night she used me to time an egg.
  7. My wife is ugly. She's so ugly that when you look up ugly in the dictionary, there's her picture.
  8. With me, nothing goes right. My psychiatrist said my wife and I should have sex every night. Now, we'll never see each other!

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