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Jacob Cohen
Quote #54
I'm so ugly - My mother had morning sickness - After I was born.
More from Jacob Cohen
You know the best part of having kids? ...making them.
I don't play hard to get... I play hard to want!
Yeah, I know I'm ugly. I said to a bartender, 'Make me a zombie.' He said 'God beat me to it.'
I love three girls at once...if I fall asleep, they got each other to talk to.
With my wife, I've got no sex life. The dog keeps watching me in the bedroom so he can learn how to sit up and beg. I told him to watch my …
Don't worry honey, I didn't see a thing...you're perfect!
With my wife I don't get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday to 'the best woman a man ever had.' The waiter joined me...
You kiddin'? I know I'm ugly...last year at Halloween when I opened the door, kids gave me candy. Some little kid tried to pull my face off…
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