'We have a little emergency here....We were boiling some potatoes and we dip them in vaseline, and shoot them at each other, and Peter was looking back making sure it was lined up with his ass, and it shot him right in the fucking eye!!'( from 'Tennis Ball Machine')

Tarbash: 'You know when you get out of the bath and your skin is nice and...open? You ever feel that way? I feel very open today, very much open.' Diane the Fl…

'I put a little ballerina outfit on him and beat him senseless. The crowd seems to love this.' (from 'The Gay Model')

Tarbash: 'What does 'iconoclast' mean?' Diane the Flower Lady: 'I don't know.' Tarbash: 'Then I speak English better than you. It means breaker of idols, icons…

If Fat Joe were dead, he couldn't attract a female fly.

Hansel and Gretel discovered the ginger bread house about 45 minutes after they discovered the mushrooms.

Unless you're passing a bowling ball, I don't think so. Unless you're trying to circumsize yourself with a chainsaw, I don't think so. Unless you're opening an…