26 Kinky Friedman Quotes

Kinky Friedman quotes

1. Let Saigons be bygones / Don't you blow this world in two.

2. 'Poly' means more than one, and ticks are bloodsucking parasites.

3. I support gay marriage because I believe they have the right to be just as miserable as the rest of us.

4. Don't see it as supporting their economy, but as burning their crops.

5. So we're arguing on the bus, and he's smoking a joint the size of a large kosher salami. Finally I got really frustrated with him, and I said, 'Look, Willie, this guy is a tyrannical bully and we've got to take him out.' And Willie says, 'No, he's our president, and we've got to stand by him.'

6. If you have the choice between humble and cocky, go with cocky. There's always time to be humble later, once you've been proven horrendously, irrevocably wrong.

7. Why the Hell Not? -campaign slogan

8. Could It Be Any Easier? -campaign slogan

9. When I'm governor ... I'll be the first governor with a listed telephone number.

10. The teachers are getting screwed, blued, and tattooed by the system.

11. It's not the career politicians that I care about. I want to get them out just like Arnold did in California, and, after that, we'll get the Californians out of Texas.

12. We're first on executions. We're 49th in funding public education. We're in a race with Mississippi for the bottom, and we're winning.

13. My platform is to remember that when they went out searching for Sam Houston to try to persuade him to be the governor-and he was the greatest governor this state has ever had-rumor has it that they found him drunk sleeping under a bridge with the Indians.

14. Politics is the only field in which the more experience you have, the worse you get.

15. I'll sign anything except bad legislation.

16. I'll keep us out of war with Oklahoma!

17. I have a better head of hair than Rick Perry; it's just not in a place I can show you.

18. What has six balls and screws Texans? The Texas Lottery.

19. I'm too young for Medicare and too old for women to care.

20. I won't be bullied, and I can't be bought!

21. I believe that voices like Ross Perot, Pat Buchanan, Ralph Nader should be heard. They don't have to be president. Give 'em a chance. That's what the guys at the Alamo died for, is to give us a choice besides plastic or paper.

22. Yes, I'm a Judeo-Christian. Jesus and Moses are in my heart, and... both of them were independents, by the way.

23. May the God of your choice bless and keep you. I respect Him as long as He does not circumcise me anymore.

24. Neither of us ever actually held a job in our lives.

25. Neither of us has ever been married.

26. If you don't love Jesus, go to Hell!!