Kinky Friedman Quotes

• Let Saigons be bygones / Don't you blow this world in two.
• 'Poly' means more than one, and ticks are bloodsucking parasites.
• I support gay marriage because I believe they have the right to be just as miserable as the rest of us.
• Don't see it as supporting their economy, but as burning their crops.
• So we're arguing on the bus, and he's smoking a joint the size of a large kosher salami. Finally I got really frustrated with him, and I said, 'Look, Willie, this guy is a tyrannical bully and we've got to take him out.' And Willie says, 'No, he's our president, and we've got to stand by him.'
• If you have the choice between humble and cocky, go with cocky. There's always time to be humble later, once you've been proven horrendously, irrevocably wrong.
• Why the Hell Not? -campaign slogan
• Could It Be Any Easier? -campaign slogan
• When I'm governor ... I'll be the first governor with a listed telephone number.
• The teachers are getting screwed, blued, and tattooed by the system.
• It's not the career politicians that I care about. I want to get them out just like Arnold did in California, and, after that, we'll get the Californians out of Texas.
• We're first on executions. We're 49th in funding public education. We're in a race with Mississippi for the bottom, and we're winning.
• My platform is to remember that when they went out searching for Sam Houston to try to persuade him to be the governor-and he was the greatest governor this state has ever had-rumor has it that they found him drunk sleeping under a bridge with the Indians.
• Politics is the only field in which the more experience you have, the worse you get.
• I'll sign anything except bad legislation.
• I'll keep us out of war with Oklahoma!
• I have a better head of hair than Rick Perry; it's just not in a place I can show you.
• What has six balls and screws Texans? The Texas Lottery.
• I'm too young for Medicare and too old for women to care.
• I won't be bullied, and I can't be bought!
• I believe that voices like Ross Perot, Pat Buchanan, Ralph Nader should be heard. They don't have to be president. Give 'em a chance. That's what the guys at the Alamo died for, is to give us a choice besides plastic or paper.
• Yes, I'm a Judeo-Christian. Jesus and Moses are in my heart, and... both of them were independents, by the way.
• May the God of your choice bless and keep you. I respect Him as long as He does not circumcise me anymore.
• Neither of us ever actually held a job in our lives.
• Neither of us has ever been married.
• If you don't love Jesus, go to Hell!!

kinky friedman