10 Robin Williams Quotes on Absurdity

Robin Williams quotes on absurdity

5. Pretty soon it'll be so bad you'll be hearing something like. 'I built this cruise missile to stop those damn kids from playin' ZZ Top.'

10. You have the right to bear arms, you have the right to arm bears, what ever the hell you want to do!

13. Unless you're passing a bowling ball, I don't think so. Unless you're trying to circumsize yourself with a chainsaw, I don't think so. Unless you're opening an umbrella up your ass, I don't think so!

23. They're patting down a five year old kid 'What are you doing? You're not a priest, let go of me.'

25. Then there's the luge, for which I have only one question: What drunken, German gynecologist invented that sport? What guy said, 'You know what? I want to dress like a sperm, shove an ice skate in my ass, and go balls first down an ice chute. Ja, that would be fun!' And don't talk to me about the two-man luge, I'm like 'Boys, get a room!'

37. Sh...theres a gay mafia... sh!!! 'The Mauve Hand', sh... Fairy Godfather, 'Does this pistol make my ass look big?'

41. ... And FROGS, fell from the sky! Maybe they fell from the sky or maybe there were just a lot of Jews with catapults going, 'NOW!'

45. How do you get crucifixion and resurrection and then chocolate bunnies, colored eggs. Wild stretch. Even kids are going 'Rabbits don't lay eggs. What is this?' And I know you don't want to see a kid bite the head off a chocolate Jesus, that's not good. You don't want a little cream-filled cross going 'Pwh', you don't want that! And you don't want to spread raspberry jam in the grass and say, 'C'mon kids, we're looking for Jesus!'

55. It's very difficult to have a call to jihad, with a mouthful of peanut butter.

59. Do you think they could make a drug to give you mental clarity into your golden years? No! But they have a drug to make you harder than Chinese algebra.