Robin Williams Quotes on Absurdity
-
Pretty soon it'll be so bad you'll be hearing something like. 'I built this cruise missile to stop those damn kids from playin' ZZ Top.'
-
You have the right to bear arms, you have the right to arm bears, what ever the hell you want to do!
-
Unless you're passing a bowling ball, I don't think so. Unless you're trying to circumsize yourself with a chainsaw, I don't think so. Unless you're opening an umbrella up your ass, I don't think so!
-
They're patting down a five year old kid 'What are you doing? You're not a priest, let go of me.'
-
Then there's the luge, for which I have only one question: What drunken, German gynecologist invented that sport? What guy said, 'You know what? I want to dress like a sperm, shove an ice skate in my ass, and go balls first down an ice chute. Ja, that would be fun!' And don't talk to me about the two-man luge, I'm like 'Boys, get a room!'
-
Sh...theres a gay mafia... sh!!! 'The Mauve Hand', sh... Fairy Godfather, 'Does this pistol make my ass look big?'
-
... And FROGS, fell from the sky! Maybe they fell from the sky or maybe there were just a lot of Jews with catapults going, 'NOW!'
-
How do you get crucifixion and resurrection and then chocolate bunnies, colored eggs. Wild stretch. Even kids are going 'Rabbits don't lay eggs. What is this?' And I know you don't want to see a kid bite the head off a chocolate Jesus, that's not good. You don't want a little cream-filled cross going 'Pwh', you don't want that! And you don't want to spread raspberry jam in the grass and say, 'C'mon kids, we're looking for Jesus!'
-
It's very difficult to have a call to jihad, with a mouthful of peanut butter.
-
Do you think they could make a drug to give you mental clarity into your golden years? No! But they have a drug to make you harder than Chinese algebra.