Robin Williams Quotes on History
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Thank you. How...DY! Whoops, wrong Opera House. How do you like the play, Mr. Lincoln? Duck!
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The professor was on acid, and sometimes, he'd shout, 'I'm Lincoln!' And then, there'd be a kid in the back, 'I'm Booth!'
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Winston Churchill, the greatest orator of all time, was so fucked up on champagne and cognac, that he may not have done some of his own speeches. They were done by a man from the BBC who did Winnie the Pooh. 'We will fight them on the beaches, in the air, on the land, Eeyore and Tigger!'
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The Confederate Flag is just a symbol of states rights... Yeah, and the Swastika is just a Tibetan good luck charm, c'mon now.
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Homeland Security - they had to be careful with that name. They couldn't name it 'Fatherland Security' or else there would be old Germans going, 'Ja, thats a good one.' But, Homeland Security, it sounds like (with British accent) 'Homefront Security,' which was England during World War II, we would have a bunch of Englishmen going 'I did it! I captured Rudolph Hess personally, I threw my colostomy bag and covered him in shite and said 'get out of that fokker you fucker, get out!''
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And some people say Jesus wasn't Jewish; yes he was. C'mon, 30 years old, lives with his parents, come on! He takes his father's business, his mom thought he was God's gift, give it up!
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So pharaoh finally said, 'Thats it! Hebrews, GET OUT!' So it was like, 'Mah nishtadonai, everybody, come on. Let's not wait for the bread to rise, just take the crackers and the skin off your penis, we're leaving!' 'Why the skin off our penis?' 'Because we're traveling people, you don't want to get sand down there.'
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If you remember the 1960s, you didn't live through them.