If there's never been a suicide in your family, why don't you break the monotony?

All men are not homeless, but some men are home less than others.

If there's ever a price on your head, take it.

I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.

Always remember the last words of my grandfather, who said: 'A truck!'

My grandfather died last week, and we buried him at sea. Well, I say we buried him at sea; it was actually a village in north Wales at the time.

Like enough, you won't be glad, When they come to hang you, lad: But bacon's not the only thing That's cured by hanging from a string.