Quote #61
If carrots got you drunk, rabbits would be fucked up.
More from Mitch Hedberg
- I've always wanted a suitcase handcuffed to my wrist
- I wrote a script and gave it to a guy that reads scripts. And he read it and said he really likes it, but he thinks I need to rewrite it. I…
- Sometimes I wave to people I don't know. It's very dangerous to wave to someone you don't know because what if they don't have a hand? They…
- My apartment is infested with koala bears. Its the cutest infestation ever. Much better than cockroaches.
- I play sports...no I don't, what the fuck?
- I like vending machines 'cuz snacks are better when they fall. If I buy a candy bar at a store, oftentimes, I will drop it so that it achie…
- If you boat a lot you are known as a boating enthusiast. I like to boat, but I just don't ever want to be referred to as a boating enthusia…
- So I wish I could play little league now, I'd kick some fuckin' ass.