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Rodney Dangerfield
Quote #30
If it wasn't for pick-pockets I'd have no sex life at all.
More from Rodney Dangerfield
I'm ugly I'm tellin' ya. My proctologist, he stuck his finger in my mouth.
It's been a rough day. I got up this morning, put on a shirt and a button fell off. I picked up my briefcase, and the handle came off. I'm …
I'm taking Viagra and drinking prune juice- I don't know if I'm coming or going.
It's not easy being me. When I was born the doctor told my mother, 'I did all I could, but he pulled through anyway.'
I went to the doctor because I'd swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest.
Last night I was making love to my wife and nothing was happening, so I said to her, What's the matter, you can't think of anybody either?
I went to see my doctor. 'Doctor, every morning when I get up and look in the mirror... I feel like throwing up; What's wrong with me?' He …
Life is just a bowl of pits.
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