19 Chris Rock Quotes on Race

Chris Rock quotes on race

6. When I see a fine sister with a white man, I get pissed. I get mad. I don't get violent, but I get mad. I'm like, 'Damn, baby, what do I got to do : to get with you?' I mean, what must I do?

8. 'Yo, I heard Chris got hit by a bus!' 'Fucked around with a white girl!'

9. Debbie Thomas went to the Olympics : bust her ass! Fucked around with a white boy!

12. There's nothing that a white man with a penny hates more : than a nigger with a nickel!

14. A black man failing black history : you know, fat people don't fail cooking.

18. That shit wasn't about race : that shit was about fame. If O.J. wasn't famous, he'd be in jail right now. If O.J. drove a bus, he wouldn't even be O.J. He'd be Orenthal the Bus Driving Murderer.

23. Who's more racist, black people or white people? Black people! You know why? Because black people hate black people too! Everything white people don't like about black people, black people really don't like about black people.

24. You can't have shit when you around niggers, you can't have shit. You can't have no big screen TV! You can have it, but you better move it in at 3 in the morning. Paint it white, hope niggers think it's a bassinet. Can't have shit in your house! Why?! Because niggers will break into your house. Niggers that live next door to you break into your house, come over the next day and go, 'I heard you got robbed.' Nigger, you know you robbed me. You didn't see shit 'cause you was doing shit!

51. White man makes guns? No problem. Black rapper says 'guns'? Congressional hearing.

52. Ed Bradley looked at Michael Jackson like he wanted to say, 'Nigger, is you crazy?' Like he wanted to take the the 60 Minutes clock and push the shit forward to say, 'Nigger, what the fuck is wrong with you?' 'I thought you said it was 60 minutes :' 'It's 10 minutes, get outta here! You nutty nigger, what the fuck is wrong with you?'

53. Black people dominate sports in the United States. We're 10% of the population, we're 90% of the Final Four.

54. Black people dominate this shit! Basketball, baseball, football, boxing, track! Even golf and tennis! And the minute they make a heated hockey rink, we're gonna take that shit too. Motherfuck Wayne Gretzky. Wait 'till you see LeBron on some skates. You ain't seen nothing yet! He just gonna have one skate, chilling. He won't even have a stick, he'll just smack the puck in with his dick. Pow! Slapshot Bitch!

56. A black C student can't do shit with his life. A black C student can't be a manager at Burger King, meanwhile a white C student just happens to be the President of the United States.

59. What is on Kobe's mind? Going to Colorado, around all these white people, and not bringing Johnny Cochran?

64. A lot of white people like to scream they're American as if they've got something to do with the country being the way it is : like they was on the Mayflower or some shit.

67. Shaq is rich. The white man who signs his check : is wealthy. 'Ah, here you go, Shaq. Go buy yourself a bouncing car. Bling, bling!'

78. So if you're black or brown, you can make money in America, you can get rich in America : but whatever you decide to do, it better be positive, 'cause if one person is harmed, you will be destroyed. You see Oprah, she just be giving away money. She's doing that to keep the Feds off her back.

80. Alcohol! Tastes great, I love it, you love it, we all love it. Kills motherfuckers every single day. Some of you all won't even make it home tonight 'cause of alcohol. You'll be like, 'Oh, that Chris Rock sure is funny, oh! Shit!' But it's all right 'cause it's all white. Cigarettes! Cigarette's the most dangerous product known to man. Kills motherfuckers every single day. Cigarette's so dangerous it kills motherfuckers that don't smoke. That's how dangerous cigarettes are. That's right, first hand smoke, second hand smoke. People talking out of their necks into a fucking machine like, 'Hey, what's up, man, I love cigarettes, this shit is cool.' But it's all right 'cause it's all white. Shit, could you imagine if the Phillip Morris family was a bunch of jheri-curled niggers from Mississippi? Do you know how illegal a pack of cigarettes would be? You would get sixty years just for a pack of Newports. But it's all right 'cause it's all white.

86. Is it just me, or is Jermaine Jackson the greasiest nigger you ever seen in your life? Every time Jermaine comes on, I gotta wipe the grease off the screen! Can't see shit! Jermaine must have been on. Even the police can't catch his ass, 'cause every time they try, he just slips out! They be like, 'Somebody throw some sand on that nigger! Please!'