Chris Rock Quotes on Celebrity
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Michael Jackson [is] about to lose everything he owns. You know why? Fucked around with a white boy!
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I'm watching the news : Tupac Shakur was assassinated, Biggie Smalls assassinated, struck down by assassin's bullets : no, they wasn't. Martin Luther King was assassinated, Malcolm X was assassinated, John F. Kennedy was assassinated. Them two niggers got shot! Shit, I love Tupac, I love Biggie, but school will be open on their birthday.
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Ed Bradley looked at Michael Jackson like he wanted to say, 'Nigger, is you crazy?' Like he wanted to take the the 60 Minutes clock and push the shit forward to say, 'Nigger, what the fuck is wrong with you?' 'I thought you said it was 60 minutes :' 'It's 10 minutes, get outta here! You nutty nigger, what the fuck is wrong with you?'
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[R Kelly]'s got a lot of balls. Talking about 'it ain't me'. Got a damn sex tape out; 'it ain't me'. Motherfucker, we know what you look like. That's you, okay? There's a damn Soul Train award right next to the bed.
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If you wanna get away with murder, shoot him in the head and put a demo tape in their pocket!
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Shaq is rich. The white man who signs his check : is wealthy. 'Ah, here you go, Shaq. Go buy yourself a bouncing car. Bling, bling!'
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Is it just me, or is Jermaine Jackson the greasiest nigger you ever seen in your life? Every time Jermaine comes on, I gotta wipe the grease off the screen! Can't see shit! Jermaine must have been on. Even the police can't catch his ass, 'cause every time they try, he just slips out! They be like, 'Somebody throw some sand on that nigger! Please!'
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Our next presenter is the first woman to ever breast-feed an Apple - Gwyneth Paltrow.
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You won't be able to take your eyes off the next four presenters: Salma Hayek and Penelope Cruz.