9 Woody Allen Quotes on Faith

Woody Allen quotes on faith

4. To you I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition.

28. The important thing, I think, is not to be bitter... if it turns about that there is a God, I don't think that he is evil. I think that the worst thing you could say is that he is, basically, an under-achiever.

41. Boris: Then there is a God. Incredible. Moses was right. [a ray of light shines over Boris] He that abideth in truth will have frankincense and myrrh smeared on his gums in abundance, and he shall dwell in the house of the Lord for six months with an option to buy. But the wicked man shall have all kinds of problems. His tongue shall cleave to the roof of his upper palate. And he shall speak like a woman, if you watch him closely. And he shall... The wicked man shall be delivered into the hands of his enemy, whether they can pay the delivery charge or not. And... [ray of light turns off] Wait, I have more about the wicked man. [turns on again] I shall walk through the valley of the shadow of death... In fact, now that I think of it, I shall run through the valley of the shadow of death, cos' you get out of the valley quicker that way. And he that hath clean hands and a pure heart is OK in my book. But he that fools around with barnyard animals has got to be watched.

51. If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name in a Swiss bank.

110. God is either cruel or incompetent.

113. How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter?

117. I believe there is something out there watching over us - unfortunately it's the government.

118. I do occasionally envy the person who is religious naturally, without being brainwashed into it or suckered into it by all the organized hustles.

126. If God exists, I hope he has a good excuse