Woody Allen Quotes on Woody allen
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I took a speed reading course and read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It involves Russia.
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I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead - not sick, not wounded - dead.
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If God exists, I hope he has a good excuse
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If my films don't show a profit, I know I'm doing something right.
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If my film makes one more person feel miserable, I'll feel like I've done my job.
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It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept better ... while the bad ones seemed to enjoy the waking hours much more.
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Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television.
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Life is like a concentration camp... you can't leave without dying.
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Love is the answer, but while you're waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty interesting questions.
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Most of the time I don't have much fun. The rest of the time I don't have any fun at all.
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My luck is getting worse and worse. Last night, for instance, I was mugged by a Quaker.
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My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.
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On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done just as easily lying down.
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Organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars a year and spends very little on office supplies.
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Sex is only dirty if it's done right.
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Students achieving Oneness will move on to Twoness.
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The government is unresponsive to the needs of the little man. Under 5' 7', it is impossible to get your congressman on the phone.
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The two biggest myths about me are that I'm an intellectual, because I wear these glasses, and that I'm an artist because my films lose money. Those two myths have been prevalent for many years.
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There's more to life than sitting around in the sun in your underwear playing the clarinet.
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Time is nature's way of keeping everything from happening at once.