20 Woody Allen Quotes on Woody allen

Woody Allen quotes on woody allen

124. I took a speed reading course and read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It involves Russia.

125. I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead - not sick, not wounded - dead.

126. If God exists, I hope he has a good excuse

127. If my films don't show a profit, I know I'm doing something right.

128. If my film makes one more person feel miserable, I'll feel like I've done my job.

129. It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept better ... while the bad ones seemed to enjoy the waking hours much more.

130. Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television.

131. Life is like a concentration camp... you can't leave without dying.

132. Love is the answer, but while you're waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty interesting questions.

133. Most of the time I don't have much fun. The rest of the time I don't have any fun at all.

134. My luck is getting worse and worse. Last night, for instance, I was mugged by a Quaker.

135. My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.

136. On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done just as easily lying down.

137. Organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars a year and spends very little on office supplies.

138. Sex is only dirty if it's done right.

139. Students achieving Oneness will move on to Twoness.

140. The government is unresponsive to the needs of the little man. Under 5' 7', it is impossible to get your congressman on the phone.

141. The two biggest myths about me are that I'm an intellectual, because I wear these glasses, and that I'm an artist because my films lose money. Those two myths have been prevalent for many years.

142. There's more to life than sitting around in the sun in your underwear playing the clarinet.

143. Time is nature's way of keeping everything from happening at once.