10 Bill Hicks Quotes on Culture

Bill Hicks quotes on culture

39. You see, I think drugs have done some good things for us. I really do. And if you don't believe drugs have done good things for us, do me a favor. Go home tonight. Take all your albums, all your tapes and all your CDs and burn them. 'Cause you know what, the musicians that made all that great music that's enhanced your lives throughout the years : rrreal fucking high on drugs. The Beatles were so fucking high they let Ringo sing a few tunes.

41. You know, if you play New Kids on the Block albums backwards : they sound better. Gives them that edge they're missing, puts some fucking hair on their balls.

42. 'Come on, Bill, they're the New Kids. They're so good and so clean-cut and they're such a good image for the children.' Fuck that! When did mediocrity and banality become a good image for your children? I want my children to listen to people who fucking rocked! I don't care if they died in puddles of their own vomit. I want someone who plays from his fucking heart!

49. It's a half-hour weekly show that I will host, entitled Let's Hunt and Kill Billy Ray Cyrus. It's a fairly self-explanatory concept: Each week we let the hounds of hell loose and chase that no-talent cracker asshole across the globe until I catch him by that fruity ponytail, pull him to his knees, and put a shotgun in his mouth like a big black cock of death [boom] and we'll be back in '95 with Let's Hunt and Kill Michael Bolton.

50. Do you all have different books in the Bible than I do? Are you all Gideons? Who are the fucking Gideons? Ever met one, no! Ever seen one, no! But they're all over the fucking world, putting Bibles in hotel rooms! Every one of them: 'This Bible was placed here by a Gideon.' When? I've been here all day and I ain't seen shit! I saw the housekeeper come and go, I saw the minibar guy come and go, I've never laid eyes on a fucking Gideon! What are they, ninjas? Where are they? Where are they from? Gidea? Who the fuck are these people?! I'm gonna capture a Gideon. Yeah, I'm gonna make that my hobby. I'll call up the front desk one day and say, 'Uh, I don't seem to have a Bible in my room.'

67. Rush Limbaugh is a Scat muncher. He munches Scat!

70. I'm sorry if anyone here is Catholic. I'm not sorry if you are offended, I'm actually sorry - just the fact that you're Catholic. Gotta be one of the most ludicrous fucking beliefs ever. Like these vampire priests sink their twin fangs of guilt and sin into you as a child and suck your joy of life out of you the rest of your fucking existence.

93. I was in Fyffe, Alabama last year. After the show, I went to a Waffle House. I'm not proud of it, I was hungry. And I'm eating, I'm alone and I'm reading a book, right? Waiter walks over to me: 'Hey, what you readin' for?' Is that like the weirdest fucking question you've ever heard? Not what am I reading, but what am I reading : for. 'Well, God damn it, you stumped me. Why do I read? Hmm : I guess I read for a lot of reasons, and the main one is : so I don't end up being a fucking waffle waiter.' But then, this trucker in the next booth gets up, stands over me and goes: 'Well, looks like we got ourselves a reader.' What the fuck's going on here? It's not like I walked into a Klan rally in a Boy George outfit, God damn it. It's a book!

108. All our beliefs are being challenged now, and rightfully so - they're stupid.

124. 'You know Debbie Gibson writes all her own songs?' No! Fucking just pull me up a chair. 'Yeah, she writes all her own songs about her own real life experiences. 'Yeah, what's the next one called? Mom why am I bleeding? When did we start listening to pre-pubescent white girls? I musta missed that meeting. We have at our fingertips the greatest minds of all-time, the knowledge and history of the greatest thinkers of ALL FUCKING TIME, but no, what's that little white girl saying? Let's go put Debbie Gibson's thoughts on compact disc so they'll never be destroyed.