6 Bill Hicks Quotes on Faith

Bill Hicks quotes on faith

10. Fundamentalist Christianity. Fascinating. These people actually believe the world is 12 thousand years old. Swear to God! Based on what? I asked them. 'Well, we looked at all the people in the Bible, and we added them up all the way back to Adam and Eve, their ages - 12 thousand years.' Well, how fucking scientific! Okay. I didn't know that you'd gone to so much trouble there. That's good. You believe the world's 12 thousand years old? 'That's right.' Okay, I got one word to ask you. A one word question. Ready? 'Uh-uh.' Dinosaurs. You know, the world's 12 thousand years old and dinosaurs existed, and they existed in that time : you'd think it would have been mentioned in the fucking Bible at some point. 'And lo, Jesus and the disciples walked to Nazareth. But the trail was blocked by a giant brontosaurus : with a splinter in his paw. And O, the disciples did run a-shrieking: 'What a big fucking lizard, Lord!' But Jesus was unafraid, and he took the splinter from the brontosaurus's paw, and the big lizard became his friend. And Jesus sent him to Scotland where he lived in a loch for O, so many years, inviting thousands of American tourists to bring their fat fucking families and their fat dollar bills. And O, Scotland did praise the Lord: 'Thank you, Lord. Thank you, Lord. Thank you, Lord.''

11. 'God put [dinosaur fossils] here to test our faith!'... I think God put you here to test my faith, dude. :[On dinosaur fossils and their relationship to creationism]

12. Seriously, does it bother anyone else that God might be fuckin' with our heads?! [Mimes digging] 'Ho ho ho! We'll see who believes in me now!'

71. The whole image is that eternal suffering awaits anyone who questions God's infinite love. That's the message we're brought up with, isn't it? Believe or die! 'Thank you, forgiving Lord, for all those options.'

97. Christianity has a built-in defense system: Anything that questions a belief, no matter how logical the argument is, is the work of Satan by the very fact that it makes you question a belief. It's a very interesting defense mechanism and the only way to get by it - and believe me, I was raised Southern Baptist - is to take massive amounts of mushrooms, sit in a field and just go, 'Show me.'

123. Brothers and sisters friends and neighbours, vibrations in the mind of the one true God whose name is love.