8 Bill Hicks Quotes on War

Bill Hicks quotes on war

7. You know we armed Iraq. I wondered about that too, you know. During the Persian Gulf war, those intelligence reports would come out: 'Iraq: incredible weapons - incredible weapons.' 'How do you know that?' 'Uh, well : we looked at the receipts.'

8. I'm so sick of arming the world and then sending troops over to destroy the fucking arms, you know what I mean? We keep arming these little countries, then we go and blow the shit out of them. We're like the bullies of the world, you know. We're like Jack Palance in the movie Shane, throwing the pistol at the sheep herder's feet: 'Pick it up.' 'I don't wanna pick it up mister, you'll shoot me.' 'Pick up the gun.' 'Mister, I don't want no trouble, huh. I just came down town here to get some hard rock candy for my kids, some gingham for my wife. I don't even know what gingham is, but she goes through about 10 rolls a week of that stuff. I ain't looking for no trouble, mister.' 'Pick up the gun.' Boom, boom. 'You all saw him. He had a gun.'

46. I actually did that act one night in the south. Then, after the show, these three rednecks came up to me. 'Hey, buddy! We're Christians and we didn't like what you said.' I said, 'Then forgive me.' Later on, when I was hanging from the tree :

60. Here's how I feel about gays in the military: Anyone : dumb enough : to want to be in the military : should be allowed in. End of fucking story. That should be the only requirement. I don't care how many push-ups you can do - put on a helmet, go wait in that fox hole. We'll tell you when we need you to kill somebody. I've been watching all these Congressional hearings and all these military guys and all the pundits going, 'The esprit de corps will be affected, and we are such a moral :' Excuse me, but aren't you all a bunch of fucking hired killers? Shut up! You are thugs, and when we need you to go blow the fuck out of a nation of little brown people, we'll let you know. Until then :

61. And don't tell me this is the military that protects our freedom - hey, ladies and gentlemen, there ain't no one out there who's a fucking threat to us. They don't exist. Oh - I'm talking now only of countries we don't arm first. All right, if you want to split hairs, you got a point. 'Bill, what about the nations we sell arms to and then blow the fuck out of?' Okay, they might be scary for about a day!

62. Just keep selling them the shitty shit. We'll be fighting the next war. They'll have muskets. 'America won a war with this.' 'Yeah, a hundred years ago!' [makes aerosol can noise] 'What's that?' 'It's musket repellent.'

74. And I knew Bill Clinton became one of the boys when he bombed Iraq. Remember that? It was just a little news story for two days, isn't that interesting? He launched 22 cruise missiles against Baghdad in retaliation for the alleged assassination attempt against George Bush, which failed. We killed six innocent people, launching twenty two, I think three million dollars-a-piece missiles on Baghdad, killing six innocent people. Umm : I think that's a little bit overdoing it if you ask me. What we should have done is embarrass the Iraqis. And here's how we should have done it: We should have assassinated Bush ourselves. 'There, that's how you do it, towel heads. Don't fuck with us.' And see, if it had been Bush who had died, there would have been no loss of innocent life.

92. I have never seen two people on pot get in a fight because it is fucking impossible. 'Hey, buddy!' 'Hey, what?' End of argument.