6 Bill Hicks Quotes on Criticism

Bill Hicks quotes on criticism

1. That's why my girlfriend and I broke up: she wanted kids, and I : well, she wanted kids. [laughs] I had no idea her philosophy was that flawed. She goes, 'Wouldn't it be nice to have a kid? To have this fresh, clean slate which we could fill. A little clean spirit, innocent, and to fill it with good ideas.' Yeah, yeah, how about this? If you're so fucking altruistic, why don't you leave the little clean spirit wherever it is right now? Okay? Horrible act, childbirth. Nightmare. Bringing : I would never bring a kid to this fucking planet.

51. People suck, and that's my contention. I can prove it on a scratch of paper with a pen. Give me a fucking Etch-a-sketch, I'll do it in three minutes. The proof, the fact, the factorum. I'll show my work, case closed. I'm tired of this back-slapping 'aren't humanity neat?' bullshit. We're a virus with shoes, okay? That's all we are.

70. I'm sorry if anyone here is Catholic. I'm not sorry if you are offended, I'm actually sorry - just the fact that you're Catholic. Gotta be one of the most ludicrous fucking beliefs ever. Like these vampire priests sink their twin fangs of guilt and sin into you as a child and suck your joy of life out of you the rest of your fucking existence.

75. Oh, there's a threat to America! Yeah, yeah, yeah... Back to that fuckin' COPS show. 'Cuz I'll tell you who the threat to freedom... no, no, not to freedom. I'll tell you who the threat to the status quo is in this country: it's us. That's why they show you shows like fuckin' COPS. So you know that state power will win and we'll bust your house down and we'll fuckin' bust you anytime we want. That's the message.

79. Rick Astley? Have you seen this banal incubus at work? Boy, if this guy isn't heralding Satan's imminent approach to Earth, huh. 'Don't ever wanna make you cry, never wanna make you sigh...never gonna break your heart.' ...oh, I wouldn't worry about that without a dick, buddy. You got a corn nut! You got a clit! You're not even a guy! You're an AIDS germ that got off a slide! They're puttin' music to AIDS germs, they're puttin' a drum machine behind them in a metronome beat and Ted Turner's colorizing 'em, God damn it!

80. [crowdmember yells out 'Freebird'] Please quit yelling that. It's not funny, it's not clever; it's stupid, it's repetitive. Why the fuck would you continue to yell that? I'm serious. [crowdmember yells out 'Kevin Matthews'] Okay, Kevin Matthews. What does that mean now? [voice slowly rising] Now what does it mean? I understand where it comes from, so do you. Now what does it all mean? What is the culmination of yelling that? [crowdmember yells out 'Jimmy Shorts'] Jimmy Shorts. He's not here. He's not gonna be here, now what? Now where are we? [voice rises faster] We're here with you interrupting me again, you fucking idiot! That's : you see where we're at? We're here at the same point again, where you, the fucking peon masses, can once again ruin anyone who tries to do anything because you don't know how to do it on your own! [shouting] That's where we're fucking at! Once again, the useless wastes of fucking flesh that has ruined everything good in this goddamn world! That's where we're at! Hitler had the right idea, he was just an underachiever! Kill 'em all, Adolf, all of 'em! Jew, Mexican, American, white, kill 'em all! Start over, the experiment didn't work! [despairingly] Rain forty days, please fucking rain to wash these turds off my fucking life! Wash these human wastes of flesh and bone off this planet! I pray to you, God, to kill these fucking people! [crowdmember yells out 'Freebird' again] [utterly deflated] Freebird. And in the beginning there was the word 'Freebird' and 'Freebird' would be yelled throughout the centuries. 'Freebird', the mantra of the moron! 'Freebird', 'Freebird', 'Freebird', 'Freebird'. If we keep yelling this, one day we'll be funny. Keep doing it. 'Freebird', 'Freebird', 'Freebird', 'Freebird'. We will sit at the feet of Kevin Matthews. 'Freebird', 'Freebird', 'Freebird'. [audience joins in] 'Free-' I'm feeling enlightened! 'Freebird'. Oh, how holy. 'Well, I don't think this is going to be a 'get-laid' set for me, so, uh : [laughter] Well, Bill, good guess. But I'm not leaving, fuckers. As I said, you will be the first to leave. Ah well, we have a long night ahead of us: