3 Bill Hicks Quotes on Audience

Bill Hicks quotes on audience

23. And then I come to find out after that film, that all the lesbian sex scenes : let me repeat that. All the lesbian sex scenes : were cut out of that film because the test audience was turned off by them. Boy, is my thumb not on the pulse of America. I don't want to seem like Randy Pan, the Goat Boy, but that was the only reason I went to that piece of shit. If I had been in that test audience, the only one out front protesting that film would have been Michael Douglas, demanding his part be put back in, all right. 'I swear I was in that movie. I swear I was!' 'Gee, Mike. The movie started. Sharon Stone was eating another woman for an hour and a half. Then the credits rolled. I don't remember seeing your scrawny ass, Mike.' 'Was Bill Hicks in that test audience?'

80. [crowdmember yells out 'Freebird'] Please quit yelling that. It's not funny, it's not clever; it's stupid, it's repetitive. Why the fuck would you continue to yell that? I'm serious. [crowdmember yells out 'Kevin Matthews'] Okay, Kevin Matthews. What does that mean now? [voice slowly rising] Now what does it mean? I understand where it comes from, so do you. Now what does it all mean? What is the culmination of yelling that? [crowdmember yells out 'Jimmy Shorts'] Jimmy Shorts. He's not here. He's not gonna be here, now what? Now where are we? [voice rises faster] We're here with you interrupting me again, you fucking idiot! That's : you see where we're at? We're here at the same point again, where you, the fucking peon masses, can once again ruin anyone who tries to do anything because you don't know how to do it on your own! [shouting] That's where we're fucking at! Once again, the useless wastes of fucking flesh that has ruined everything good in this goddamn world! That's where we're at! Hitler had the right idea, he was just an underachiever! Kill 'em all, Adolf, all of 'em! Jew, Mexican, American, white, kill 'em all! Start over, the experiment didn't work! [despairingly] Rain forty days, please fucking rain to wash these turds off my fucking life! Wash these human wastes of flesh and bone off this planet! I pray to you, God, to kill these fucking people! [crowdmember yells out 'Freebird' again] [utterly deflated] Freebird. And in the beginning there was the word 'Freebird' and 'Freebird' would be yelled throughout the centuries. 'Freebird', the mantra of the moron! 'Freebird', 'Freebird', 'Freebird', 'Freebird'. If we keep yelling this, one day we'll be funny. Keep doing it. 'Freebird', 'Freebird', 'Freebird', 'Freebird'. We will sit at the feet of Kevin Matthews. 'Freebird', 'Freebird', 'Freebird'. [audience joins in] 'Free-' I'm feeling enlightened! 'Freebird'. Oh, how holy. 'Well, I don't think this is going to be a 'get-laid' set for me, so, uh : [laughter] Well, Bill, good guess. But I'm not leaving, fuckers. As I said, you will be the first to leave. Ah well, we have a long night ahead of us:

117. Have you seen what they're doing to movies now? They show the movie to a test audience, then change it depending on whether these 200 random yahoos liked it or did not like it, as though we are all one, as though we all have the same taste, as though, as though, as though.