3 Bill Hicks Quotes on Sex

Bill Hicks quotes on sex

45. Are there actually women in the world who do not like to give blow jobs? See a lot of guys on dates got their fingers crossed here tonight : 'Answer him, honey, go ahead. Let's hear how you feel about this right now.' A woman one night yelled out, 'Yeah, you ever try it?' I said, 'Yeah. Almost broke my back.' It's that one vertebrae, I swear to God, it's that close. I think that vertebrae is going to be the thing to go in our next evolutionary step. Just a theory...and a fervent prayer! Yeah, now all the guys are going, 'Honey, I have no idea what he's talking about. I think he's a devil-child.' That may be true, but guys : yyyou know what I'm talking about. I can speak for every guy in this room here tonight. Guys, if you could blow yourselves, ladies, you'd be in this room alone right now : watching an empty stage. Boy, my folks are proud of me! 'Bill, honey, you still doing that suck your own cock bit?' 'Yeah, mom.' 'Good, baby, that's such a crowd-pleaser. How clever of you to come up with the suck your own cock bit, honey. You're so clever, it makes your mama's bosom swell with pride. Knowing her son is travelling the world, using his given surname, going up in front of rooms of total strangers and doing the suck your own cock piece!' 'Thanks, mom.' 'No biggie.'

66. Speaking of Satan, I was watching Rush Limbaugh the other day. Doesn't Rush Limbaugh remind you of one of those gay guys who likes to lay in a tub while other men pee on him? Can't you see his fat body in a tub while Reagan, Quayle and Bush just : [pee noise] Just standing around pissing on him, and his piggly-wiggly dick can't get hard. So they call in Barbara Bush :

110. They got this thing in New York, Channel J. Anybody heard of it? Well, it broadcasts nothing but ads for escort services 24 hours a day. Ads like: 'Call 1900-SLUT and the girl of your dreams will come to your house :' Let me tell you folks : the girl of my dreams doesn't blow fifty guys a day. The girl of my dreams I don't feel like eating a trucker's cum out of her pussy : The girl of my dreams you can't play connect-the-dots with the herpes sores around her anus. The girl of my dreams I'm putting on a pedestal so I can : do nasty, nasty things to her.