3 Eddie Izzard Quotes on Hollywood

Eddie Izzard quotes on hollywood

38. Whereas if the film did any little bit of business in America, if the film did some decent bit of business, then Hollywood would take it, and they'd remake it and up the budget by 50 million and it would be called The Room With a View of Hell! : Staircase of Satan! : Pond of Death.

39. We play bad guys in Hollywood movies because of the Revolutionary War : oh yes, will you never forget - you big elephant you. And the French, who were on your side in the Revolutionary War (as you well know...), they play more esoteric characters. They play characters who turn up and go, 'My name is Pierre. I am 53. I have come to have sex with your family.' And the father of the house saying, 'Help yourself! Because of the debt of honour owed to General Lafayette.' [to audience] You know your own history, yeah? [pause] You don't know who he is, do you? What's this, the Spanish-American War, the French-Banana war? What?

40. But we play bad guys in Hollywood movies, like, take, uh, The Empire Strikes Back from the Star Wars trilogy. The Death Star - just full of British actors opening doors and going: 'Oh, I'm : oh : oh.' 'What is it, Lieutenant Sebastian?' 'It's just the rebels, sir. They're here.' 'My God, man! Do they want tea?' 'No, I think they're after something more than that, sir. I don't know what it is, but they've brought a flag.' 'Damn! That's dashed cunning of them! Ah, Lord Vader!' [hollow breath] 'Uh : hello?' Because he was only impressive because he had that James Earl Jones voice: [deep voice] 'I'm : I am Vader. The force is strong with you.' If he had a much more [high wimpy voice]: ''Ello! Look, I'm Lord Vader, and just pay a-bloody-ttention, all right? Luke, Luke, the force is strong with you.' 'Is it?' 'Yeah.' 'Well, who told you that?' 'Uh, s-some bloke. Yeah, he said the force is really rather strong with you.' 'Well, how strong?' 'Uh, as strong as a small pony.' 'Oh, that's quite strong, that is.' Film would never have fuckin' worked, would it?